the reckless dad

‪reck·less /rekləs/ adj. without thinking about the consequences. rash, heedless, impetuous, impulsive, daredevil, audacious, madcap‬

Category: Seasons

Mentors

Mentor defineA big brother. A father. An uncle. A grandfather. A best friend’s father. A youth leader from church.

Every person, but young men especially, need an older man to pour into their lives. We need someone to help us learn how to be a man. In our society, we put a lot of pressure on young women but there is also a lot of pressure put on young boys to become manly men. There are certain things that men must know. Things it is expected as a man we are aware of. There are also expectations for men which will dramatically change the world all of the men on the planet would get it right. Once these boys develop into men and then as they take on the roles of husband and father, the expectations only get higher.

How do boys learn to be men? How to boys learn the critical ‘man-stuff’ they need to know? The same way any of us learn anything – someone teaches us.

We need someone who will teach us how to treat women. Women are to be treated with dignity and respect, not as objects for our use and abuse. Boys and young men need someone to teach them the proper way to speak to a woman. The proper way to treat a young woman. I am not necessarily a supporter of the whole idea of courting, but certainly something has been lost in the way our youth and young adults are approaching dating. It has lost the special-ness and wonder it once had. It is now a commonplace, ordinary thing and not something that is special. We have lost to excitement and mystery of entering into a relationship with the opposite sex. There are a myriad of societal issues that could likely be traced back to this… that is a discussion for another time! As boys we need someone to teach us how to treat girls and ultimately women.

We need someone to teach us the mystery, wonder and exhilaration that is fire. This is essential to being a man. Other men will immediately gauge the usefulness of a man based on whether he can build a fire. Whether you use raw elements, a flint stone, lighter fluid or straight gasoline a man must be able to make a fire. This ties into a man’s overall outdoorsyness. Men are supposed to skilled outdoorsmen, too. How good of an outdoorsman can you be if you can’t start a fire.

We need someone to teach us how to properly grill meat. Any meat. Dead animal cooked over open flames is quintessential manhood. Without this ability, is a man really a man? Grilling is more than utilitarian preparation of food, it is an art form. It is something special.  Magic happens when meat is grilled.

We need someone to teach us sports. Almost without exception, it is not possible for a group of men to arrive at a park, field, friend’s house or church without some sports equipment. It could be as simple as a football, soccer ball, Frisbee or a baseball and glove. It would seem as though men are hardwired to play sports. In a group of dudes, even the ones that aren’t ‘athletic’ will find themselves getting drawn into the exhibition off sports. While we seem to be inherently keyed into sports, we still must have someone take the time and interest to cultivate the athlete inside of each of us.

Who teaches us these critical life lessons? It is often our father. Sometimes it is an older brother. It can be an uncle. Maybe a grandfather. Maybe it is your friend’s father. Or it could be a youth leader from church. Or maybe it is all of the above. As boys and young men we need someone to teach us important skills and lessons we need in life. We need someone to mentor us.

We all do. We all need someone to pour into our lives and help us to grow. It doesn’t have to be a perfect mentor. It just needs to be someone who cares about us enough to walk through life with us for a season. Mentors change. Seasons and times of our lives change and what we need out of mentors change. But, no matter the season of life we are in we need mentors.

Who has been a mentor to you? What have they taught you? Who have you been able to mentor?

Rhythm

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Our hearts beat in a rhythm.

We breathe in rhythm.

Our bodies sleep in rhythm.

The earth rotates to produce the rhythm of the day. As the earth rotates, it also creates the rhythm of the ocean.

The earth revolves around the sun creating the seasons. These seasons are the rhythm of the earth.

In the world around us and in our own bodies we see rhythm. We see a natural cycle. We see things moving to a rhythm, a cycle that is normal… healthy.

I thought about this last night as I was running. When I run I focus on breathing in rhythm. I focus on the rhythm of one foot in front of the other. I focus on the pace, the speed that I am moving. It all feels natural.

So why am I trying to shove myself into a schedule?

It may be semantical, but I’m gonna to make a contrast. I have found myself having a difficult time settling into a schedule, calendar, or routine for the new year. Then it occurred to me, maybe I’m trying to settle into the wrong thing. Our bodies have rhythm. Why am I not trying to settle into rhythm?

I rebel against ideas like being regimented, routine, scheduled or tied to a calendar. But I wholly accept my life moving in and out of seasons (rhythm). As the year has begun, I have gotten involved in an internship and class. This has put a constraint on my time. So I have had to organize my days so that I know where I am going & what I am doing. I don’t like being on a schedule.

I am going to try and adjust my focus and get settled on a rhythm. Find my rhythm of work, study, exercise, etc. I think this will be more effective. I like the idea of tapping into my natural rhythm or seasons and building upon it.

Do you struggle with a schedule or routine? Wanna try to tap into your natural rhythm with me?

Changing of the Seasons

Recently, Ronda’s sister was down to visit us from Kentucky. We were talking about how they liked living in Kentucky (they are Floridians who moved about 18 months ago). They said there was some things they liked and others they did not. They liked the season changes. Which reminded me of a brief and humorous blog post I wrote years ago. It seemed worth remembering as it has been storming for like 3 days here. For your reading pleasure and enjoyment is a brief dissertation on the seasons we experience in Florida:

I was talking to a friend of mine recently who has moved to Georgia.  He said that one of the things he really liked about living in Georgia was that there was seasons.  Growing up in Florida, he had never been able to experience the changing of the seasons.  After thinking about it for awhile, I thought that we have seasons too.  Hurricane Season.  Lovebug Season.  Hotter than Hell Season.  Rainy Season.  Although, none of these seasons are particularly enjoyable.

This might be a slight exaggeration… but probably not!

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