Last week we sent the boys to soccer day camp, everyday from about 9-4. On Friday when I dropped them off, they didn’t want to go. Noah quietly protested and Hayden outright cried and clung to me as I attempted to leave them there. I count this as one of the hard things you have to do as a dad. It didn’t hurt them in anyway to be left there, but at the same time I don’t want to watch them cry and be upset. I know it is good for them to do things they don’t want to do, but it breaks my heart for them to cry and cling to me like that instead of wanting to go to soccer camp.
As a dad, I struggle with whether I am a good dad or not constantly so when something like this happens it just makes it hard. I ended up picking them up early on Friday and they were no worse for the wear… but that is not the point. I hate to make them cry. Forcing your boys to do something they don’t want to do because you know it is going to be good for them is hard.
If I feel this way now, I can only imagine what it is going to be like when they get older and we are forced to make hard decision about what is or isn’t good for them. I do not look forward to 3 teenage boys at the same time. In reality it scares the $h!t out of me. Literally. I am the one to teach them the proper way to respect a woman, treat other people, respond to God and basically to be a man after God’s heart. I’m terrified. Luckily, Ronda is here to help me along with our friends and family. It truly does take a village to raise a child.
I have been working hard for the last week to reclaim some sense of manhood and fatherhood in my family that I had let go of. I have dropped the ball and I am picking it back up. One of the ways I have dropped the ball is in being the lead of my house and being a consistent father. We have had some tough mounts over the last couple days as I reassert my authority as dad. I don’t want to let the cat out of the bag with regard to this, because I spoke about it on Sunday at h2o church and intend to post thoughts from my message in the next day or so… so for more complete thoughts on this check that post out.
Either way, being a dad is hard sometimes. Making your kids cry because you take them to soccer camp sucks. Knowing they will be better off because of it, the job of the dad.