I agree, the linear thinking is the problem as well as organized growth. As far As organized, I meant for me growth over the last couple of years has been hit or miss. I have grown a lot but seem to easily forget what I’m learning. It’s like my spiritual discipline is haphazard and therefore without organization, hence unorganized.
The other problem that I have with linear thinking is the cause and effect nature of it. If I do “a” then God will do “b”. That doesn’t always work. Sometimes I do “a” and the. “f” happens promptly followed by “u”. In respect to spiritual growth and relationship with God that doesn’t mean God is punishing me because I didn’t do “a” the right way, it just means we live in a sucky sin-filled world. It seem that the bumper sticker commenting about the occurrence of rather unpleasant excrements is true.
Case in point, this flawed linear thinking has been the undoing for much of the growth I have had over the past two years. I was wrongly under the impression that if I did the right things that God would bless me. When the blessings didn’t come as I saw they should, the logical conclusion is that I must have done something wrong. God wasn’t blessing me because I didn’t do the right thing the right way or some semblance of bs like that. Reality is, my relationship with God isn’t dependent on some cause and effect. God does what God has promised to do: offer me salvation and peace in this life until I die. Do I accept that or expect for him to give what he hasn’t promised? God loves me inspire of myself and the desire of my heart needs to be to chase him, whether the road is easy or tough.