Here it is just after midnight as I share some final thoughts for the day to make my post for the 3rd of June 2012. I want to share a post from several years ago. I don’t struggle in the same ways now, as much, but I feel like this us a good message that needs to be heard.
This morning I realize that I don’t have a problem with feeling emotions. On the contrary, all I seem to feel is emotion. MY problem is the expression of the emotions – either the inappropriate expression or the lack of expression. Often, days I feel overwhelmed by the emotions in my life. Not the inability to feel them, but the inability to cope with the flood of emotions that I often feel. This is problematic in the sense that it makes it very difficult to feel anything. My emotions overwhelm and overtake me sometimes.
I feel feelings of sadness, hope, hopelessness, joy, fear, excitement, anxiety, anger, peace, nervousness, restlessness and others all at once. What do I do with them? I suppose that is the catch now isn’t it? What do I do with all of the emotions that I feel? How do I respond to them all? My most common practice is to be overwhelmed and therefore not do anything. But this doesn’t seem to be the best practice. I want to do and be more than this. So as I sit here I think of Philippians 4:7 where Paul tells us that the peace of God that passes our ability to understand will wash over us.
This kind of peace is very reassuring. When I stop to think about living in this kind of peace, it is comforting. What this peace does is remove the need to be in control. It removes the need to feel like I have to have the power. It allows me to relinquish power and control (two things I have a hard time letting go of) and live in the moment of my life. It doesn’t always remove all of the anxiousness… but I wonder if that is me holding on more than anything.
Peace… God is in control. Where in the Psalms does God tell us to cease striving and know that he is God? Try Psalm 46:10. God is working behind the scenes and underneath it all… Romans 8:28, God causes all things to work together for the good of those who love him. That doesn’t mean that there will never be any trials, trouble or hardship… but it does mean that those trials are going to be a time for me to learn to trust God more. Romans 5:3-5 reminds me that trials bring perseverance, which brings character, which brings hope, and hope doesn’t disappoint. Hope that doesn’t disappoint sounds strangely like peace that passes my ability to understand.
I started writing this feeling a little discouraged and down. Not so much, anymore. I realize that as I draw closer to God, the closer he draws to me. Having just a few moments to mull over some thoughts about this with God and to see what he would say regarding this topic has been very encouraging to me.
Maybe I need to start everyday with a splash of God in the morning… now there’s a novel idea…