Call me a purist, old school or just out of touch. Whatever you call me, just don’t call me late for dinner!

I’ve been reading about some of the new sportbikes on the market today. And almost all of them (the big bikes anyway) have ABS, traction control and various power modes. Really? The Japanese bikes are just catching on, but all of the European bikes have all these features.

I just about 3 different new bikes and they all have 8 different power modes and/or traction control modes. Really?

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I ride a 1986 GSX-R1100. A friend recently did some work on for me and when I went to pick it up I asked how it runs. He said better. He said, ‘you know she’s a cold-hearted bitch right? She’s just plain mean!’ This is an accurate description of my bike. Cold, vindictive and unforgiving. Terms usually reserved for ex-wives, are the best to describe her. If it doesn’t need to be on her, I cut it off. I had a conversation with my mother-in-law while doing so work on her the other day. It was time again for the sawzall, I told my mother-in-law this is my favorite thing to do to my motorcycles: hack them up. It was only half a joke. I take a bareknuckled, barebones, balls to the wall approach to my bikes.

I have hacked the rear subframe and seat. Cut and shortened the seat myself. Removed any discernible tail section. Shortened the front fender and hair and removed the headlight/instrument cluster/fairing bracket. Removed all gauges and instruments except the speedo. Mounted headlights on the triple tree. Rattle-can graffitied the gas tank.

Sure, it looks like I did it… but it doesn’t look like anybody else’s bike.

Like it or not, it’ll catch your eye.

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