‪reck·less /rekləs/ adj. without thinking about the consequences. rash, heedless, impetuous, impulsive, daredevil, audacious, madcap‬

Full of Internal Self-Loathing and Hatred

I have been listening to a lot of Blue Stahli right now, especially when I go run. There is a newer, rocking song called Anti-You that I have grown to like tons. The chorus goes,

Force feeding
I’m burning the alter
And I’ll pass right through
I want to be the Anti You

I can’t help but to think of all the self-loathing and hatred I have for who I am on the inside when I hear this song. I have a lot of internal baggage that causes me to think many misconceptions and untruths about who I am. The only redeeming quality about me is that I am a child of God.

I often want to be the antithesis to myself, the opposite of who I am. Why is so hard for us to accept the grace of God and bury our past in the past?

At our core we are sinful screwed up beings that can only find worth through Christ. As Metallica said, … nothing else matters…

God’s redemptive work through Christ is the only thing that can take the tangle mess of blackness inside us and turn it into anything worthwhile. God’s redemption saves us from sin but also from ourselves. It is because of God redeeming me and my experiences that I.m able to move past them.

Lucky for me, when God looks at me he doesn’t see the filthy rags that are me, he sees his son who died for me.

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