Whenever I hear that questions of think of The Replacements & the scene where Gene Hackman asks the team this in the locker room. One guy says bees. Another spiders. Finally, Keanu Reeves says quicksand – meaning feeling like you are in over your head and that you are sinking fast. This feeling of being overwhelmed, stressed out & unable to cope isn’t an unfamiliar feeling to many of us. This week, or rather the last several weeks, I have felt this way very strongly. And now I’m preaching this morning…
I went to Bible College and was trained as a preacher. When my class graduated there were many in the student body who believed I should have preached at graduAtion (because I was a better preacher) and that I should have won the preaching award (same reasoning). I realized early on that I’m good when I’m in front of people an the center of attention. I feel awkward in smaller more intimate settings. Whilst, I’m a good speaker I’m probably the world’s most nervous speaker. This morning is no different. I’ve struggled with my sermon this week – so much else has been going on. I hope it is good. There have been several times that I just put it down and walked away cause it wasn’t happening at that moment.
My plate is very full right now, and many don’t/can’t know why. Fortunately, God’s grace is sufficient for me. Now, I just need to rely on it more.
Years ago when we first moved to gville, I had God’s grace and hope readily on my mind. It was in every sermon I preached. Every lesson I taught. It was in every meditation I gave. Honestly, over the ensuing years lost sight of his grace. I lost hope for the future. I have gained some of it back, but nothing like where I was. God was BIG & I felt that & was in awe daily of him. This last week I have struggled with feeling hope and knowing grace. I have felt the weight of the world.
As I wrote my sermon I remembered Jesus felt the weight if the world too. He suffered just like me. His experience on earth was just like mine is. Full of good days and bad days. Days full disappointment. Days full of hope. My Messiah is an appropriate source of hope and grace because he has been here. He has been in the trenches with me.
What am I afraid of? Preaching when I don’t feel confident of my sermon. What else? Losing hope for good.
God cover me and wrap me up. May your grace always be on my mind…