Almost two years ago I posted this series of blogs.  I wanted to share them with you…

I set out to run today. We left between 1-2 pm. It was/is freaking hot. I sit @ the playground @ the St. Cloud lakefront taking a shade break & letting the boys play. There is a nice breeze. I was listening to my ipod as I do when I run. One of the songs in the playlist was Breaking Benjamin’s The Diary of Jane. Lyrics go: “Something’s getting in the way, something’s just about to break, I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane, As I burn another page, As I look the other way, I will still try to find my place in the diary of Jane.” I’m not sure who Jane is, I mean I have an aunt Jane but I don’t think that who they are talking about. As I listened to the song I began to think of a song entitled ‘the Diary of God’. This song is the story of my life, and I am trying to find my place in the diary or story of God. At any rate, i find myself struggling to find my way in the diary of God. I have recently firmed some plans that will allow me to chase some dreams. I have been able firm up some plans for myself and for where I think that God is taking me. I have started working for this new ministry and trying to get this guy booked in order to lead children’s ministry seminars and parenting conferences. In doing so I have been looking at church websites and obtaining information in order to call the churches so that I can try to get him booked. I found one church in Vegas that was pretty sweet actually. It made me rethink the decision that I made to stay away from vocational ministry. That place seemed real cool. And last night I was reading over some Rob Bell stuff, as one of my classmates came to class with one of his books in their bag. I think he is awesome. I just began to wonder if I had made the right choice. all of this is swirling around in my head when I hear this song and I begin to contemplate whether or not I am in the diary of God. This has begun to open up more questions about what does it mean to be in the diary of God. It makes me to think and look globally as to the meaning of being in the diary of God. I have many thoughts on being in the diary of God and what that can and does mean. It could be related to our ministry/service opportunities that we take advantage of. It could be related to our personal walk/study and time with him. How close are we to God? How well do we know him? How well do we listen to him? Are we really willing to sacrifice our own lives and wills to his? When I hold myself back from him, does that affect being in the diary of God? Is is possible to be deeply enmeshed in the diary or to be a superficial passing character whose role is not that significant? Which one is better? Where does God fit into my diary. Is he a deeply enmeshed character that is on every page of my diary or is he a fleeting moment that matters not? I would like to think on this some more and then attempt to add more relevant thoughts to this. This seems to be in the infancy stage where I am just thinking about the basics. Maybe more installments that get to the specifics of my attempts to remain in the diary of God might be fun.

There is a total of 8 blogs on this subject… stay tuned for them all!

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